30 April 2011
28 April 2011
The Course of Human Events
I am so excited about the royal wedding! I've called off all my appointments this week so I can watch the coverage. Sorry, clients! This is history in the making. I'm not going to miss it just to make a living, or because my ancestors fought a freakin war to get away from just such excess. Kate is ADORABLE! (But do you think she'll live up to Diana?) I don't knnnoooooooooooooooooowwww!
I've been searching through my archives all morning, trying to find a picture of a rat's ass so that I can illustrate my exact level of interest in the royal wedding.
But I do have this sort of morbid curiosity, the same kind that makes you look into hospital rooms as you walk down the hall to visit someone. Not about the royals or the spectacle or any of that silliness. About the photographer.
There's no question that Mario Testino is blatantly awesome. I'm not knocking him. But we're all human (except the royals, of course) and I just have to wonder: What happens if you screw up?
Corrupt memory cards happen. I'm sure Testino is using wireless backup reverse engineered from UFOs, but any system can fail. And besides that, what if the autofocus picks out the flowers instead of faces? What if the shutter fails during the kiss? What if . . . ?
And on top of all that, what if he's just having an off day? For example: This shot is very nice. This one makes Kate Middleton's head look like a watermelon with hair. Sorry, Mario, but what were you thinking?
For anyone who's ever shot a wedding, imagine having to answer the queen of England when she says, "Why do I look so old?"
One thing's for sure: As wedding photography goes, you cannot rise higher than this, and Testino doesn't have to listen to guys like me, who mostly criticize him so that they can pepper their blogs with keywords. (By the way, Kate Middleton's eyes are as green as Obama's birth certificate.) So I guess Testino can cry into a bag of money if he screws up tomorrow.
On the other hand, will Testino even make any royalties (har, har) off this circus? Since he's being paid by the British government, will he keep the rights to his photos, or will they be public record? You know, like this one:
Happy wedding, readers. Don't let your mascara run.
I've been searching through my archives all morning, trying to find a picture of a rat's ass so that I can illustrate my exact level of interest in the royal wedding.
But I do have this sort of morbid curiosity, the same kind that makes you look into hospital rooms as you walk down the hall to visit someone. Not about the royals or the spectacle or any of that silliness. About the photographer.
There's no question that Mario Testino is blatantly awesome. I'm not knocking him. But we're all human (except the royals, of course) and I just have to wonder: What happens if you screw up?
Corrupt memory cards happen. I'm sure Testino is using wireless backup reverse engineered from UFOs, but any system can fail. And besides that, what if the autofocus picks out the flowers instead of faces? What if the shutter fails during the kiss? What if . . . ?
And on top of all that, what if he's just having an off day? For example: This shot is very nice. This one makes Kate Middleton's head look like a watermelon with hair. Sorry, Mario, but what were you thinking?
For anyone who's ever shot a wedding, imagine having to answer the queen of England when she says, "Why do I look so old?"
One thing's for sure: As wedding photography goes, you cannot rise higher than this, and Testino doesn't have to listen to guys like me, who mostly criticize him so that they can pepper their blogs with keywords. (By the way, Kate Middleton's eyes are as green as Obama's birth certificate.) So I guess Testino can cry into a bag of money if he screws up tomorrow.
On the other hand, will Testino even make any royalties (har, har) off this circus? Since he's being paid by the British government, will he keep the rights to his photos, or will they be public record? You know, like this one:
Happy wedding, readers. Don't let your mascara run.
12 April 2011
SCAM ALERT: "April 12th is ARTS DAY!"
Today is Arts Day! What did you get me?
So I received an email from a certain local arts group. It's my practice not to be on the mailing lists for such groups, but I'm on this one because I happen to have exhibited in their space. That was before this particular organization completely imploded and lost their space. Last I heard, they had reorganized, and opened a new gallery where they would showcase local work, but not necessarily sell it, because they didn't want to "increase competition."
Anyway, the crux of this email was that The Arts are under attack. Budget cuts threaten to take the paint right off the canvases. No one will be able to afford clay or film or scrap metal or ink or anything. We're all supposed to get together on April 12th and lobby our government keepers to give us more money to make art. And the email concluded with this:
"How do we drive the perception of the Arts from being merely a luxury or frill among our society's priorities to become more broadly recognized as a critical need for a healthy, vibrant culture?"
Easy. You don't. Because they aren't. In other news, I'm going to make a new label for the blog called "Career Suicide," and this will be its first post. But, I'm sure, not the last.
Need
Art is not a critical need. Food is a critical need. Gasoline, tires, electricity, breathable air, national defense, housing, blood transfusions, prisons, and fire trucks are critical needs. And I know there are high and mighty art types who will read this blog and start spouting about culture and healthy this and vibrant that, so let me frame it this way: I am an artist. If art is a critical need, you have no choice but to buy my prints. Will that be cash, check, or charge?
Let's get this straight: I don't do this to benefit "the culture." There may be artists out there that do, but they make soulless drivel that amounts to little more than Rebecca Black's tear-stained diary entries. If your goal is to benefit culture, your art will always be a reflection of the culture's needs, and you will always be a nurse to its illness--and let me tell you, its illness is transmitted in some unappetizing ways.
I do this, every bit of it, to benefit me. So you can rest assured that not one bit of the DarkTopo process is financed by your tax dollars. If you like my work and want to support it, I thank you wholeheartedly, but I will not take money that was pried from you at the point of a gun in the name of some "need."
If I had applied for government grants years ago, I might have enjoyed more success, but there are worse things to regret. Look at those who are now losing their funding. DarkTopo has had some hard years and some harder years, and money is always scarce, but at least I am immune from one law of nature: When the host is sick, the parasites go hungry.
The Arts are Under Attack
The LA Times laments the modest growth of the National Endowment for the Arts in the last decade. In another article, they report that the president will be slashing the 2011 budget. And here, that stalwart of journalism Chris Matthews teams up with a famous actor to warn us that the entire NEA dole is on the chopping block:
I am not an economist or a mathematician, but I do have access to public records and spreadsheet software.
NEA Federal Budget Allocations by Year
2000: $ 97,627,600
2001: $104,769,000
2002: $115,220,000
2003: $115,731,000
2004: $120,971,000
2005: $121,263,000
2006: $124,406,353
2007: $124,561,844
2008: $144,706,800
2009: $155,000,000
2010: $167,500,000
That doesn't look like modest growth to me. And according to the White House Blog, that 100% cut Kevin Spacey was so worried about didn't happen. So, for a bit of comparison, I calculated the last decade's increases in the NEA's allotment versus the increases in the United States Gross Domestic Product and the median household income.
NEA total increase: 71.57%
GDP total increase: 46.91%
Median Household Income total increase: 10.32%
(Sources: NEA Allotments, US GDP 2000-2009, US Estimated 2010 GDP, Household income here and here.)
Therefore, as a broad generalization, art money recipients are raking it in compared to the average working stiff. Not even the wall street speculators can keep up: If GDP is any indication, it is better to be funded by the NEA than to invest in US stocks. Especially since investors incur risk, and most art types just show up and eat crayons.
So I think the arts are doing just fine. It is interesting, though, that they picked April 12 for Arts Day: It's awfully close to Tax Day.
So I received an email from a certain local arts group. It's my practice not to be on the mailing lists for such groups, but I'm on this one because I happen to have exhibited in their space. That was before this particular organization completely imploded and lost their space. Last I heard, they had reorganized, and opened a new gallery where they would showcase local work, but not necessarily sell it, because they didn't want to "increase competition."
Anyway, the crux of this email was that The Arts are under attack. Budget cuts threaten to take the paint right off the canvases. No one will be able to afford clay or film or scrap metal or ink or anything. We're all supposed to get together on April 12th and lobby our government keepers to give us more money to make art. And the email concluded with this:
"How do we drive the perception of the Arts from being merely a luxury or frill among our society's priorities to become more broadly recognized as a critical need for a healthy, vibrant culture?"
Easy. You don't. Because they aren't. In other news, I'm going to make a new label for the blog called "Career Suicide," and this will be its first post. But, I'm sure, not the last.
Need
Art is not a critical need. Food is a critical need. Gasoline, tires, electricity, breathable air, national defense, housing, blood transfusions, prisons, and fire trucks are critical needs. And I know there are high and mighty art types who will read this blog and start spouting about culture and healthy this and vibrant that, so let me frame it this way: I am an artist. If art is a critical need, you have no choice but to buy my prints. Will that be cash, check, or charge?
Let's get this straight: I don't do this to benefit "the culture." There may be artists out there that do, but they make soulless drivel that amounts to little more than Rebecca Black's tear-stained diary entries. If your goal is to benefit culture, your art will always be a reflection of the culture's needs, and you will always be a nurse to its illness--and let me tell you, its illness is transmitted in some unappetizing ways.
I do this, every bit of it, to benefit me. So you can rest assured that not one bit of the DarkTopo process is financed by your tax dollars. If you like my work and want to support it, I thank you wholeheartedly, but I will not take money that was pried from you at the point of a gun in the name of some "need."
If I had applied for government grants years ago, I might have enjoyed more success, but there are worse things to regret. Look at those who are now losing their funding. DarkTopo has had some hard years and some harder years, and money is always scarce, but at least I am immune from one law of nature: When the host is sick, the parasites go hungry.
The Arts are Under Attack
The LA Times laments the modest growth of the National Endowment for the Arts in the last decade. In another article, they report that the president will be slashing the 2011 budget. And here, that stalwart of journalism Chris Matthews teams up with a famous actor to warn us that the entire NEA dole is on the chopping block:
I am not an economist or a mathematician, but I do have access to public records and spreadsheet software.
NEA Federal Budget Allocations by Year
2000: $ 97,627,600
2001: $104,769,000
2002: $115,220,000
2003: $115,731,000
2004: $120,971,000
2005: $121,263,000
2006: $124,406,353
2007: $124,561,844
2008: $144,706,800
2009: $155,000,000
2010: $167,500,000
That doesn't look like modest growth to me. And according to the White House Blog, that 100% cut Kevin Spacey was so worried about didn't happen. So, for a bit of comparison, I calculated the last decade's increases in the NEA's allotment versus the increases in the United States Gross Domestic Product and the median household income.
NEA total increase: 71.57%
GDP total increase: 46.91%
Median Household Income total increase: 10.32%
(Sources: NEA Allotments, US GDP 2000-2009, US Estimated 2010 GDP, Household income here and here.)
Therefore, as a broad generalization, art money recipients are raking it in compared to the average working stiff. Not even the wall street speculators can keep up: If GDP is any indication, it is better to be funded by the NEA than to invest in US stocks. Especially since investors incur risk, and most art types just show up and eat crayons.
So I think the arts are doing just fine. It is interesting, though, that they picked April 12 for Arts Day: It's awfully close to Tax Day.
08 April 2011
Jes Reads Tonight!!
[Zero Image 2000 Pinhole shot, 4 min exposure]
My smoking hot and incredibly talented wife has been chosen as a finalist in the Mountain Xpress poetry contest. She will be reading TONIGHT at the Masonic Temple (it's a conspiracy!) downtown at 8:00 p.m. After the reading, the top ten poets will be locked in a cage and forced to fight to determine the winner.
Now, I haven't officially been given permission to publicize any of this, so read the post again and pretend I'm whispering. And if she asks how you knew, tell her you found the deets on Facebook.
The Mountain Xpress Poetry Show
Friday, April 8 · 7:00pm - 10:00pm (readings at 8:00)
Masonic Temple
80 Broadway St.
Asheville, NC
06 April 2011
03 April 2011
Donating AshevilleHDR Photos to the Japan Relief Concert!
Get off your ass and do some good. The Japan Relief Concert [Sat. April 16 @ the Grey Eagle] is going to be awesome, and all proceeds will benefit Peace Winds America.
Here are the photos I'm donating. And here is why.
Here are the photos I'm donating. And here is why.
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