WASHINGTON--A divided Senate rejected President Barack Obama's top choice for secretary of photography, Asheville photographer Max Cooper, largely on rumors that Cooper doesn't own a Leica.
The decision brought a pall of uncertainty to Obama's formerly optimistic White House.
"This is a time of change," said a disappointed Obama in an afternoon press conference, "but some want to stand in the way of that change. Mr. Cooper has a proven track record, pithy commentary, and once took some pictures of Bill Clinton. He's the change America needs. I can't be the changer the people wanted change from if some unchanging stay-the-samers won't get out of my changin' way."
Cooper's spokesperson was unavailable for comment, but Senate minority leaders were quick to point out the controversy that has haunted his nomination.
"The Secretary of Photography is a keystone position in the president's cabinet," said Sen. Arlen Spector, R-Penn. "We owe it to the American people to be sure that the president doesn't misguidedly appoint some fool who doesn't even own a Leica."
Leicagate, as it has been dubbed in the media, began when Cooper posted controversial comments on a popular photography discussion board, alleging that what matters in photography is the artist's singular vision, rather than the camera he uses.
Posting under the name "LeicaFanBoy2007," Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, who owns four mint-condition Leicas himself, reportedly called Cooper "just a blooming idiot."
In a more reserved statement this afternoon, Democratic New York Sen. Chuck Schumer spoke of the hush that fell over the Senate hearings when Cooper admitted he thought his Nikon cameras were "just as good."
"It's appalling to think that, in this day and age, that kind of ignorance could still prevail," said Schumer, not usually known for in-party criticism. "What was our new president thinking?"
Sen. Diane Feinstein, D-Cali., said the failed appointment reveals a growing problem.
"It's time to think about common sense legislation to get these Nikons off our streets," she said. "We have to do it for the children."
Speaking on condition of anonymity, a senior official in the Federal Photography Administration, formerly the Leica User's Group, said that Cooper was an ideal nominee in all other respects.
"How can a man so talented fail to recognize the importance of Leica-work? Just the other day, I was down at the beach taking pictures with my M6 TTL-BBQ and my new 50mm f0.95 Summi-Nocti-CronElmarlux on some Fuji 800 I bought at the drugstore. And I thought, 'What kind of moron would take an SLR out on a day like this?' Let alone a duh-duh-digital," the official said, and spat.
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, a former campaign rival of Obama, said even she was surprised by the president's choice.
"You know, we expected to see some candidates that might be a little wonky," she said, propping her Nikon-scope-equipped moose-rifle on one curvy hip. "But I can't believe the vetting process wouldn't catch something like this. You know, when Todd and I looked at those pictures Mr. Cooper took of me, we just thought their extreme-edge sharpness was a little, you know, lacking."
Citing the long history of struggle Leica users have endured, senior Mass. Sen. Ted Kennedy (D) admitted he was stymied by the president's choice, but gave a rousing statement of hope at this afternoon's Rose Garden press conference: "We hayve ta look fahwad to a time when awl men and women, black and white, gay and straight, can ahppreciate the well choreographed dance of geahs and levahs working in perfect hahmony."
There is no official word on who Obama will nominate to replace Cooper, but top officials speculate Philadelphia photographer
Kyle Cassidy could be near the top of the list.
"He's a dedicated Leica man," said Hatch. "Plus he's got that hot actress girlfriend he's always blogging about."
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