The only thing worse than tragedy.

The shooting at Tennelina's church has been commented on by much more insightful folk than I, so I won't get into that. Jes and I went to the vigil last night, and I won't get into that much, either. What I will address, and what I feel I have insight into, is the surreality of it all--the feeling of your own life reflected by the media machine, in your most personal and painful moments.

Walking out of the church last night, passing all the news vans, I could hear that reflection in my head: "Well, Shep, it was a tearful vigil indeed for the victims of yesterday's shooting . . ." I could see the shallow depth-of-field shots of hands holding candles, people crying.

I'm not a media-hater. I've been part of the media too many times to feel justified in that. I will confess, it was very hard to leave the camera at home last night. And if you've read the blog for any time at all, you know how I feel about freedom of the press and freedom of speech. I have been known to tell my students that the only thing worse than tragedy is undocumented tragedy.

My complaint is not that the tragedy is covered, but how it is covered. We know the shooter was unemployed, former military, a former truck driver. What do we know of the victims? What of their lives have we heard, other than the way they ended?

It happens time and again. We know the names of Klebold and Harris, McVeigh, Kaczynski, Cho, Bundy. What were their victims' names?

Invariably, the spin machine starts. I'm close to the gun rights debate, and I see both sides revving their offenses and defenses. We'll hear about the shooter's politics, his food stamps, his mental health, his neglected childhood. No one will say he was "evil," but already the buzzwords have wings: senselessness, hate crime, anger, loner, depressed.

The notion is that everyone wants to know why. "Well, Shep, here in this community shaken by violence, people are asking 'why?'"

I don't want to know why. There is no good reason. And what other conclusion do the Alphabet News Corp psychology pundits think they can come to? Will they some day find a reason why that will satisfy the families of the victims? The media asks this question, over and over, as if the victims could have saved themselves if they'd just known why this man wanted to kill them. And isn't the implication, then, that the victims are at fault? If the "why" is so important, doesn't that leave open the possibility of not just a reason, but a justification?

Don't bother explaining it, Shep, I don't buy it. If you want to ask why, ask the old couple weeping in the church as people are leaving. Ask them why they came to the vigil. Ask them why they will go on with their lives. Ask Greg McKendry's family why he stood in front of a shotgun to protect the people behind him. There's a reason worth finding.